Wrapped in white paper with a silver, hand tied ribbon on it, it looked just beautiful.
Flossie smiled and felt a twinge of delight when she anticipated giving the beautifully wrapped gift to her friend, hoping she'd like it.
She know her friend had worked hard at a project, and this gift would let her know her hard work was appreciated.
She smiled at her friend and said 'this is for you'
Her friend looked at the gift but didn't take it.
'I don't deserve it', she said. 'I only did what anyone else would have done. And it's my job to do it, it was expected of me. It was nothing special'.
Flossie was taken aback. She felt hurt, rejected and stupid and felt the sting of unshed tears in her eyes.
She felt upset that her good deed had been dismissed so harshly, and vowed that was the last gift she would give her friend
Flossies friend was also upset: was she being made fun of, saying she was good at something when clearly she's not? Surely everyone knows I'm rubbish, she thought: they're laughing at me
Gifts are given and rejected every day.
Okay, mostly they aren't gift wrapped and tied in ribbon, they are spoken gifts: compliments
- Hey, your hair looks great today!
- Wow, you handled that really well
- Your presentation was amazing - you're a great speaker!
Every compliment, every piece of praise you reject is the equivalent of you throwing away a gift right in front of the giver, and it has an impact on both you and them:
- Oh, I need the roots doing, and this weather makes it so frizzy!
- I was so nervous I stuttered and looked daft
- I rushed it, I bet noone even understood what I was saying!
YOU are making a statement that you are not worthy of praise or compliments. You are telling people that you don't deserve them, and as such are making yourself inferior
To the giver, it's like a slap in the face. They tried to do something nice for you and it was rejected. Its pretty puzzling to be on the receiving end.
A compliment is a gift - don't throw it away!
Why reject a gift that is freely given?
- It may be because you were brought up to not be bigheaded or boastful
- It may be because you are embarrassed at being given positive attention
- It may be that you feel so bad about yourself you can see no positives
- It may be because we are suspicious about the motives behind the gift
It could be one of many things, and certainly reflect on it, but It doesn't matter WHY you reject gifts in this way, it just matters that you do, and it matters that you stop it
So what can you do?
It's easy. It's beyond easy. It's easy peasy
- Say thank you
See, told you it was easy!
You don't have to reciprocate, you don't have to do anything. You will feel better, they will feel better, it's a win = win situation
So the next time you are given a gift from someone, don’t throw it away, accept it gracefully.
Accept it with the generosity that it was given. Cherish it and feel it's warmth.
Just because you can't see your fabulousness doesn't mean others are blind to it!
How do you feel about receiving praise or compliments? I'd love to know - leave a comment below