Category Archives for Self Care

how do you know if you're giving too much?

There's a new guy at school.  He's lonely and desperate for friends but a bit shy and awkward, but his parents are wealthy - let's call him Richy Rich.  He uses his money to buy friends, giving sweets, gifts, paying for things, buy buy buy, and giving too much.

The result?  Richy has more people around him.

But are they friends?  What if the money dries up, will they return the favor and ​share what they have?

what would your music library it tell me about you?

Well, it would give me clues about your age, your past, what your parents may have liked, whether you are a happy person, a deep person, an angry person or a fun person.  

And when meeting someone new, discovering you like the same music is a great way to connect.

There's something about music, isn't there, that speaks to the soul.  It reflects our mood, and it affects our mood with almost mystical properties. 

How can you use this to your advantage?

Gratitude journals are very popular at the moment, with just cause

Many of us are more blessed that our grandparents could have ever imagined, but get wrapped up in insignificant trivia that frankly doesn't matter.  It's good to be reminded of lifes simple pleasures and of what's really important.  

However there's a dark side to gratitude that is often missed, and can cause you damage. 

Let me explain...

168  

That's how many hours there are in a week, and chances are you feel there aren't enough.  So much to do, busy busy busy, work and commitments and 101 other tasks swallow​ them up. 

Busy.  But bored.  ​

How many of those 168 hours are for you?  To have fun, enjoy yourself, relax and recharge, care for yourself and socialise?  ​

It's time to start saying yes!​

Here are 10 things to say yes to now to improve your life 

You don't like it.  

They are standing right there in front of you as you open your gift and you don't like it.  ​Your heart sinks.

What do you do?​

What pops into your mind when I say 'lunch'?

Do you think of long, leisurely and possibly boozy​ times with friends?

Or do you think of brushing crumbs off your computer screen as you eat a sad sandwich at your desk.  Again.  

If your lunch is more like the second version, then take a read, because if you don't take a proper lunch it's having a negative impact on your health, productivity, and creativity. 

You know that feeling when you want to meditate because it makes you feel so much better after, less stress and more energy.  

But ​you have a to do list a mile long, and you have a deadline looming.  You can't meditate, you simply don't have time.  

Sounds familiar?​

How can you find time in your busy day to practice self care?​

Are you being used?

We all have them - high maintenance friends.  Drama queens always in the throws of some kind of trauma that draw you in so you become involved, giving them help and support.

You will always help people out if you can, that's the sort of person you are.  

But they will always let you.  They don't feel bad if you go the extra mile for them, change plans for them, take, fetch and carry for them.  They take advantage of your kind nature.

But have you noticed how exhausted, drained and stressed you feel after being in their company?

Why is that, and what can you do to protect yourself?​

​Picture this: you're having lunch with friends and someone brings up the hot topic of coffee preparation. Hold on to your hat grandma, things are going to get WILD!

She says the perfect way to make coffee is add coffee to the cup, then add water and milk last.  You know that's blatantly wrong, that the milk should and absolutely must go in FIRST.  It's the only way. It's both clear and obvious.  

I mean, durrr!

But you hesitate.  You want to give your opinion - and maybe you can educate some people into the delights of Milk In First (MIF), but what if people take umbrage and there's a conflict? 

Does your opinion go unheard, a fear of conflict or lack of confidence holding you back?

Don't worry, most people instinctively avoid conflict but ​armed with a few of these phrases in your toolbox, you'll soon be comfortable expressing your opinion.

​Did you watch House, the TV series about the grouchy, sarcastic, Vicodin gorging genius doctor?  If you didn't, I'd highly recommend it.

Do you trust your intuition, your gut instinct, that little voice that tells you there's something wrong?

Picture this: Match.com has finally paid off, and in among all the unsuitables you found him.

He's all you wanted from a man:  he makes you laugh, he makes you feel cared for, he makes you feel safe, he makes you feel ALL woman.  

But...well, there's one thing that just doesn't feel right...​

I like people, and I like talking.  So why does thought of small talk make me break out in a cold sweat and want to hide in the cupboard?

Well, it's the inane chitter chatter, the pleasantries, the polite prattle that I hate.  It's the conversational equivalent of twitter - no chance to get stuck into a conversation about anything important or interesting. 

That, and the fact I am RUBBISH at small talk!  My mind goes blank, I say something wildly inappropriate, I stutter and laugh loudly, snorting for good measure,  Then, I quietly die inside as I wait for the floor to swallow me up, which it NEVER does, just proving that floors are evil.  

If you can relate to any of that nonsense, keep reading:

Is your mum the font of all wisdom, with a wise word for all occasions? 

Mine wasn't.  She wasn't the 'wise woman of the village' kind.  

However, there was one really useful thing she shared with me, and it pops into my head like a red flag every time it happens, so I want to share it with you.

I know you're busy, so I'll keep this short.  You're probably too busy to read it properly anyway, so you'll skim it, get the juicy nuggets of information and discard the rest.  

It's okay, I understand.  I do that myself, as I too am a Very Busy Person or VBP.  After all, I'm far too busy to be typing Very Busy Person out over and over, that's 14 characters, and 'ain't nobody got time for that'!  ​

Busy, busy, busy.  With a daily to do list a mile long.

It's stressful being a VBP because I don't get any downtime, and the time I do get I like to sleep because I am also a VTP (Very Tired Person).

Fun?  Oh, I remember fun.  It was...fun!  But I am too busy for that now... ​

Saying no effectively is a skill, and there are lots of ways to say no, and the good news is - learning how to say no is a skill that can be learned. 

You probably already know that you should say no, but somehow ​you've still not managed to master the skill of how to say no in a way that's comfortable for you. 

There are some great articles about saying no around the interwebz, but some seem to be a bit gung ho and don't take into account how difficult it can be for us people pleasers of the world to 'just say no'.

So here are 7 of the best blogs around that share ways to say no.  

Enjoy! 

Wrapped in white paper with a silver, hand tied ribbon on it, it looked just beautiful.

Flossie smiled and felt a twinge of delight when she anticipated giving the beautifully wrapped gift to her friend, hoping she'd like it​.  

She know her friend had worked hard at a project, and this gift would let her know her hard work was appreciated. 

​She smiled at her friend and said 'this is for you'