There was a series on TV recently called ‘Humans’. It was great.
This is what it was about:
‘In a parallel present where the latest must-have gadget for any busy family is a 'Synth' - a highly-developed robotic servant that's so similar to a real human it's transforming the way we live.’
From the start we learn that some of these robots or synths are different, and have a consciousness.
One of these conscious synths is talking to a real person, and she talks about something she did and how she should regret it.
The person says ‘Forget should - it’s just do I regret or not’.
I'm stealing that line, it's pure genius!
As a psychotherapist, something I hear countless times is 'I shouldn't feel like this':
And my response?
When you use the word should, it means at some point you have been given messages about what you are expected to feel - or what you are PERMITTED to feel.
Messages - spoken or unspoken - from our parents, caregivers, grandparents, teachers, religious leaders along with society and media are constantly feeling us messages about what it's okay and not okay to feel.
Lets take a look at the examples again:
I can't be sad because others are worse off? Really? Then I can't be happy because others are happier!
You feel what you feel. Trapped. Sad. Lonely.
Unless you acknowledge how you feel, how can you learn from it or make changes?
Are you going through your life like a synth, feeling only what you think is permitted?
Or are you embracing the full spectrum of emotions and live your life in glorious technicolor?
You should think about it !
If you're told what you should be doing a lot, take a look at 'Dealing With Criticism' below
If criticism makes you want to roll up into a little ball and cry, then it's time to take control - but in a way that's not going to cause conflict, and a way that feels right for you.
The guide is available on a Pay What You Want basis, meaning there is no set price, you pay what you feel it's value is to you.
Hi, I'm Jane, and if you're the one that cares for and supports others, that gives and never takes and are exhausted because you put your own needs last, then you're in the right place. It's great to have you here - I hope you stick around!