How to be FABULOUS! - Jane Travis (1)

This was a night out that had been months in the planning.  

Spirits, along with heels, hems and hair, were high.  The collective volume - also high. ​

Let's take a look at two of the girls in the group:

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On the night out there are a pair of identical twins: for this experiment I'll call them 'Twin A' and 'Twin B'.

They are totally identical - hair, height, weight but also have a similar character.

Twin A is having the time of her life.  She is chatting, laughing, dancing, smiling and flirting.

Twin B looks very uncomfortable.  She stays in her seat, avoids eye contact and self consciously pulls at her clothes.

What's making their behaviour so different?

​I'll tell you:

Twin A has lost 7lbs.  Twin B has gained 7lbs. 

That's it.  That's all.  

The gauge that they use to measure their perceived attractiveness has given them different information, despite them being exactly the same weight.  One is delighted, the other is horrified.  

And that's enough to make a difference to the level of enjoyment on their night out.  

Your body image impacts your life, your confidence and your happiness far more than your actual appearance.  

Your body image impacts your life, confidence & happiness far more than your actual appearance. 

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Now we all know 'it's what's inside that matters' and 'everybody is beautiful in their own way' blah de blah and yes, in theory we understand and agree with this.  

But the truth is, it's not easy to really believe.  It's hard to celebrate ourselves if we feel uncomfortable about our physical appearance.

'But Jane', I hear you cry, 'maybe twin B is just shy?  Is it that shy girls aren't attractive?'

No!!  Not at all!  Being shy isn't an unattractive feature, being shy is just fine.  Hating yourself, on the other hand, isn't fine.

'But Jane', you cry again, 'what's wrong with being quiet?  Is it that quiet girls aren't attractive?  Maybe she just prefers to observe?''

Hey, there's nothing wrong with that at all!  But not being the life and soul of the party isn't what this is about.  

It's what the body language is saying:

  • I'm not enjoying myself
  • I don't like myself
  • I'm sorry I came out
  • Stay away from me

In this example, both girls were the same weight, but it was their attitude that was different.  One felt amazing and on top of the world, one felt awful.  

Therefore one had an amazing night, and one hated every minute​

The truth is, no one else cared.

No one could possibly know about that small weight gain/loss.  No one else cared about what the scales had told these girls earlier that day, they just wanted to kick up their heels and have some fun with them.  

What a pity that one girl didn't allow herself to be her fabulous self because of a number on a scale.

So how about you?  Does your weight impact on your enjoyment?​  Please - leave a comment below. 

Dealing with criticism - Jane Travis

If criticism makes you want to roll up into a little ball and cry, then it's time to take control - but in a way that's not going to cause conflict, and a way that feels right for you.

The guide is available on a Pay What You Want basis, meaning there is no set price, you pay what you feel it's value is to you.​

About the Author Jane Travis

Hi, I'm Jane, and if you're the one that cares for and supports others, that gives and never takes and are exhausted because you put your own needs last, then you're in the right place. It's great to have you here - I hope you stick around!

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