Category Archives for Communication

Finding time for yourself - Jane Travis

Finding Time For Yourself

How often do you get time for yourself?

You've been counting down to your next day off because you plan on a day of total indulgence, which includes locking the door and having a book/bath/wine/malteser combo, followed by binge watching something (anything) on Netflix.

​Possibly squeezing in a nap too because, well, just because you can. 

You're desperate to take a day out as you've been crazy busy and feel stressed, and you know you're starting to get burnt out and frazzled.  

But your friend rings.  

Her boyfriend recently dumped her and shes feeling down, and ' fancy a shopping trip as a treat - to cheer me up?'

​<Sigh>

What do you do?​

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Asking for help - Jane Travis

The quick and dirty recipe for asking for help

The thing about being a people pleaser is - we GIVE help, we don’t ask for it.

Worries about being a burden, being needy, being a nuisance, causing inconvenience stop us dead in our tracks, so our lives consist of on struggling alone, sometimes to the point of making ourselves ill.

But it doesn't have to be like that, you don't have to struggle on alone.  There ​are many people that would only be too happy to help if they knew you needed it, so give them the chance. 

Not sure how?  Well, here's the perfect recipe for asking for help...

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Scared of being rejected- Try this! - Jane Travis

Scared of being rejected? Try this!

Are you scared of being rejected? 

Being rejected is a bummer.  I mean, it's a slap on the face, a kick in the teeth and leaves you feeling lost, abandoned and deserted.  

​How do I know?

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How to help when someone cries - Jane Travis

How to help when someone cries

How do you react when someone cries?

Imagine this: while visiting a friend and while chatting about this and that they tell you about something that’s upset them, and you see the tears welling up in their eyes.

What do you do when someone cries?

I’ll tell you...

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How to stop over apologising - Jane Travis

How to stop over apologising

Stop over apologising!

If someone bumps into you and you hear yourself say sorry, then this post is for you!  

Apologising means we are acknowledging our faults or shortcomings, or admitting blame. If we are at fault then apologising is definitely the thing to do.

But over apologising is saying sorry when you haven't done anything wrong.  

Why are you ready to accept blame or responsibility so readily? And what are the consequences?  I'll tell you...

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When saying no to people isn't enough - Jane Travis

When saying no to people isn’t enough

when did saying no politely stop being enough?

Yesterday, I was almost force fed cake.  

Okay, there may be worse ways to go.  But if you've ever been visiting someone and having coffee, and they offer you cake, you'll know how difficult saying no to people can be.  ​

I'm not a big fan of cake and I just didn't want any but it seems refusing cake is simply not an option

I was brought up to be polite, and I bet you were too.  Saying please and thank you, excuse me and may I.  Be respectful, don't offend, don't be cheeky.  

So when I am offered cake at a friends house and I don't want it, I very politely decline:

'Would you like some cake, Jane?'

'No, thank you' I say.  Text book manners.  My mum would be so proud.

But then this happened!

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Choice is yours (or is it?) - Jane Travis

The choice is yours

Is it your choice?

You're an adult, a grown up, a mature, sophisticated woman of the world.  You are in charge of your own life, your own destiny and you make your own choices.  

​Or do you..?

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How to say you don't like a gift, without looking ungrateful - Jane Travis

How to say you don’t like a gift, without looking ungrateful

You don't like it.  

They are standing right there in front of you as you open your gift and you don't like it.  ​Your heart sinks.

What do you do?​

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How to tell if you're being used - Jane Travis

How to tell if you’re being used (and what to do about it)

Are you being used?

We all have them - high maintenance friends.  Drama queens always in the throws of some kind of trauma that draw you in so you become involved, giving them help and support.

You will always help people out if you can, that's the sort of person you are.  

But they will always let you.  They don't feel bad if you go the extra mile for them, change plans for them, take, fetch and carry for them.  They take advantage of your kind nature.

But have you noticed how exhausted, drained and stressed you feel after being in their company?

Why is that, and what can you do to protect yourself?​

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40 ways to give your opinion - Jane Travis

40 ways to give your opinion

​Picture this: you're having lunch with friends and someone brings up the hot topic of coffee preparation. Hold on to your hat grandma, things are going to get WILD!

She says the perfect way to make coffee is add coffee to the cup, then add water and milk last.  You know that's blatantly wrong, that the milk should and absolutely must go in FIRST.  It's the only way. It's both clear and obvious.  

I mean, durrr!

But you hesitate.  You want to give your opinion - and maybe you can educate some people into the delights of Milk In First (MIF), but what if people take umbrage and there's a conflict? 

Does your opinion go unheard, a fear of conflict or lack of confidence holding you back?

Don't worry, most people instinctively avoid conflict but ​armed with a few of these phrases in your toolbox, you'll soon be comfortable expressing your opinion.

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