You love helping people, you get a kick out of caring and a buzz when you're supporting people that need help.
But somehow it became unbalanced, and now you're exhausted.
It's so long since you thought of your own needs, you don't know what they are anymore.
My marriage ended.
And my friends, the ones I'd been there for and supported when they went through tough times, disappeared in a puff of smoke.
I was devastated, alone and hurt. A tough time to discover many of the people I'd called my friends weren't friends at all.
I was training to be a counsellor at the time, so I used this time to learn about myself, about my drive to help others, to please and I realised that I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.
I was a people pleaser, driven to please others to win their approval and fearful that if I didn't I'd be rejected. I'd stopped being me, changing to fit in and I'd allowed people to take advantage of me because I didn't want to rock the boat.
And when I allowed myself to be still and really listen to that dark quiet place in my mind, I began to understand why: I thought that unless I did things to make people happy, they wouldn't like me. If I didn't do things for them, I'd have no purpose and be rejected.
I felt that me, just me, wasn't enough to hold their interest.
A painful lesson, but a vital one because it changed my life.
Now my friendships are healthier, more balanced. I've learned to ask for and accept help, say no to unwanted requests, recognise and meet my needs and take care of myself.
Now I still care for, support and help people but I'm not driven to be there for everyone. I can spot a 'taker' a mile away and know how to protect myself from them. I say no to things I don't want to do without guilt.
It's all about balance.
I can teach you how to get that balance.
This is the place to be reminded that you're a pretty fabulous human being, even in you don't fully believe it yet.
So I qualified as a counsellor 2005, and since then I've worked with:
I work with 'people pleasers', women who give too much, to help them see their value. To see that they have a voice, that they have rights and that they are as entitled to support, help and kindness as any other person.
That they are enough
I use all my skills, training and experience from over 12 years client work and work with you to respect, understand, value and care for yourself. Because if you don't, who will?
Are You Ready to make a change?
click here for details of how to work with me.
We should definitely keep in touch, yeah?
And I could send you Project Me, my weekly (ish) hit of all things journaling, self care, communication and self acceptance.
Your email is safe with me, I'll never share it - promise.
Well, because you're in safe hands, that's why.
I'm a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), which is the governing body for counselling and psychotherapy in the UK.
This FREE 21 day self care challenge is a great place to start your self care journey.
1:1 wellness coaching to help you start valuing yourself again - without feeling guilty.
My blog's about self care and communication, and with ideas to try and things for reflection
Take Control: Say No teaches you how to say no - without guilt, and not change your mind.
'How To Start A Journal' and 'Dealing With Criticism' are available as pay what you want